Sunday, March 9, 2014

First comes Yes, then comes Stress… or does it?

The Big Question has been asked and answered: yes, you are getting married. What is number one on the agenda?

Do you begin a set of Pinterest boards dedicated to everything from invitations to napkin folds? Do you visit wedding sites looking for inspiration or something that looks like your own style? Do you begin to look at this wedding venue and that, within a short drive, or maybe a longer drive?  Do you sign up to have vendors contact you, where you are asked to pick colors and describe the wedding you want but have not yet put together?

All this makes sense on many levels, as you want your wedding to be the very best party you have ever been to. It is also certain to begin to add to your stress level, as your weekends are given over to visiting venues while answering calls from friends and family whose well meaning advice and serious questions begin to make you wonder if it is OK to reduce your guest list based on who annoys you the most. The fantasy of you, stress free, in a hammock overlooking the ocean on a golden beach seems as far away as the moon.

Your prospective mother-in-law suggests you can save money and please all your friends by throwing a vegetarian potluck in the park, and you find yourself shrieking that you do not intend to turn your friends into a catering service. She smiles wickedly (did she ever seem wicked before? Will she ever seem sweet again?) and suggests you go with her friend Margot's catering service then. She has a brochure for you, featuring snails and pureed meats on crackers. You try to smile and briefly wonder if that sick feeling in your stomach might mean on top of everything else you are pregnant.

But, as it turns out you have a fairy godmother. She visits your room while you are sitting on your bed getting it for the first time other why some couples elope somewhere far far away. She leads you outside to the porch swing and waves her magic wand in the air.

"Here is where we start," she smiles at you. "Let's talk about the money. How much are you going to spend on this gorgeous party?"

You give her the impossibly low number of dollars you know you can get your hands on and add in a thousand from your credit line. She says, "Great! Now let's get started."

Over the next hour or so she walks through your fantasy with you. As you tell her things, she shows you pictures. Once in awhile she says things like "If you are willing to stray a little from convention and go with a table seating chart instead of place tags, we can get you that light curtain and stay on track with your budget."

When your mother calls the next day to offer up her friend Helene to make your wedding dress and save you money over store bought, you smile and tell her your fitting appointment is already in the works.  It was a small fib, and not the first or last you will tell during this process, but you know there will be a fitting and there will be a wedding, without snails.

This is the role of the wedding designer. This person begins with the given of how much money you are going to spend,  takes your wishes of what the elements of the wedding should be, and almost like magic puts it all together to become all you want it to be. Generally this can happen without a potluck in the park.

If it is a Hawaii Island wedding you might be interested in, we are here, wand in hand. And yes, you could be in that hammock, at that very spot. It can all happen.

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